December 4, 2009 § 2 Comments
(click to enlarge)
- ..everything was out, out-there laying on all sides, laying front & back, the thoughts were cast out, nothing more to conceal, bleached-out.
- …knotted & breathing, the thoughts were pulsed away, no they were wasted away, yes they were wasted & washed-out, winded.
- …like they were there to be considered (not in whole) from a distance, incredulous as they are, mimicking an interiority, given back.
- …reverberating gray words (in the 1/2-light of confusion, in the 1/2-life of expression), promise to be sustained like they were.
- …& the small phrases gathered here by my feet (& underfoot) held there. Once ensnared a few will give up & freeze the moment (like now).
- a precious sieve cancelling as it retrieves (hoarding silence). The screen inspected for a resemblance to what “should be” (what can be).
- …in-&-out of me the gray thought was exposed & hidden, remembered & forgotten. Yes just that, moving forth, a filter, a precious sieve.
- ..& as it (the thought) dried there I stopped to pick through it, thinking of its pattern while knowing it’ll be gone soon–a captured loss.
- …given-up, parceled & punctuated with my ego then thrown away to join the public, the imagined narrative escapes emotion & the words.
- …foisted from me into a breathless (overwrought) phrase loaded with failure (emphatically recondite). There it was, over there…
- …configured into a useful shape, twisted from a tangle of imitation, foisted on the screen & hung to dry there, to transform there.
- ..& these churlish thoughts (drawn like wire) quickly unfurl & unspool (not as dreadful as they once were). I’m left to configure them…
- …as I said, underneath the day, swept by the thought (whispered to myself) to bring me to what can’t be said (the ineffable constraint).
- …those words, the gray words over there (out-of-me) dispensed of, waiting for reflection, neat in their uncertainty, near to their pain.
- …only slightly warmed by the (presumed) eventual (left to strategize & gather) sitting in a box, a vitrine, stuffed & rare.
- …the triviality that consumes a disregard & assumes its place as a sentence (maybe quoted or said again) simply repeated. Ragged & used.
- …used-up, resuscitated, brought back before us, along with this febrile insistence, these empty letters, this hollow phrase.
- …& yet the 2nd look is there to reflect & to look-back-on what has been overlooked. Yes, it’s there in that thought, where we’ve been.
- …a phrase inflated with itself, understood as itself, so tiny & mundane as to be extinct within a second (& without a 2nd look).
- the bondage is here (right-now), look at it, hold it up to the light, regard it as your own. A new triviality under the day, under scrutiny.
- …& the little words (cloaked with an info-banality) only hint at a luxuriant suffering (our misused master). This bondage is here.
- …the gray returns. The return of the unknowable, the haze of insouciance (pinned to my thoughts) displayed before you.
- underneath (inside) the innocuous concision, the feeling wondered, lost till the feeling surged (un-erasable & un-thought-out). Gone again.
- go ahead dry thoughts, into those little paragraphs, shove yourself along (anxious for warmth) into an understanding, a real pertinence.
- …yes a small epiphany, down there, pushed away, undusted (wanting to go backwards, wanting to retreat)…& the little words slip away.
- …into that chasm of WHAT? Thought into that chasm of what? An isolated project of inquiry, speculation (only slightly epiphanic).
- …go ahead dry thought, into what you’ll risk a phrase or two for, into what you’ll never hold-on-to, into that which was promised.
- …yes, behind the present, pressured to be redacted, then to be enveloped, eaten, absorbed (given a pass). Go ahead dry thought…
- …out-of-time to place the thought on a shelf, to gather dust, a dust to transform it into an antiquity, never new, but behind the present.
- …what with a minor touch, the little words escape, gone & turned gray, the subtle whisper of myself, my self-song, endlessly out-of-time.
- …gone from my lips & into my words, the chaos of agony left my fingers onto the screen (rejected, then revived) then pushed away, again.
- …never voided (avoided), the spectacular array of repression, propelled away, distilled into the everyday, the anodyne.
- overwhelmed marginalia kicked & shoved the old emotions (those rejected past-times), but not gone, never voided. Threatening effulgence.
- laid down, brought down, nothing to pin-point, scattered, left-out. Remaining in the thought, the words have left me. Banalities overwhelm.
- …these little letters that promise to bring me what? …a new need, more desire, another rule, additional strictures?
- …public/private, right here, displayed & frozen/melting in my words (these little letters).